When my husband and I first fell in love, we had this CD that we were just obsessed with. It was this David Brymer worship CD, and we played it until the songs themselves were tired. I am not kidding! We loved all of his songs. But, our favorite song on that album was, “Eyes of Redemption.”
When my husband proposed, he installed a little device inside of a scrapbook that played our song. When I opened the scrapbook, it played “Eyes of Redemption” and on the last page, were the words, “Will You Marry Me?” That song was also the song I walked down the aisle to on our wedding day.
Right after I separated from my husband, my brother made the mistake of playing David Brymer’s songs while we were making the 2,000 mile trip to the West Coast. I freaked out and immediately told my brother to turn it off. I couldn’t stand reliving the emotions that the album represented. It was too painful. I knew every song on that album.
Anyone going through a divorce will know that listening to your wedding song is incredibly painful. You don’t want to relive the memory of feeling so nervous that you thought you would trip on your dress while walking down the aisle. You don’t want to relive the memory of looking into your husband’s eyes and seeing him grin from ear to ear at the sight of your big but beautiful dress. You don’t want to relive the memory of how your bridesmaids and mother in law scrambled at the last minute to get the wrinkles out of your veil. You don’t want to relive the memory of how you kept checking your teeth to make sure there was no lipstick on them. You don’t want to relive the memory of how you hurried to make sure your vows were in place–and the anxious feeling you had as the wedding planner told you the doors were about to open.
You don’t want to relive your wedding song because it represents pain. The reminder that you invested everything you had to give: your heart.
Recently, I went to a women’s conference where the speaker, Kim Johnson, began to sing one of David Brymer’s songs, “Worthy of it All.” Normally, I would have had a panic attack just by hearing anything from his album. But, because God had been healing my heart so much, I was unable to recognize the song. I know it sounds bizarre, but I literally kept thinking to myself–what a beautiful song, I wonder who the artist is. It felt familiar, but I couldn’t put a finger on where I had heard it before. I began to sing along with her and the song really touched me. God had somehow made that tune sound new again. I went to bed that night completely unaware that I had sung a David Brymer song from the very album I had been opposed to listening to–the album that had represented pain for so long.
The next morning, that song began to play in my head. Immediately, I felt like I needed to find out the name of the performing artist. I Googled the words “worthy of it all” and to my surprise, David Brymer’s name popped up. I was shocked and said, “I can’t believe that Kim Johnson got me to sing a David Brymer song!” No wonder it sounded familiar!
Immediately, I knew what God wanted me to do next: He wanted me to sing my wedding song, “The Eyes of Redemption.” Tears began to stream down my face, as I sang my wedding song–but this time I wasn’t singing it to my husband, I was singing it to God. Emotions of pain associated with the song began to gently wash away as I sang the lyrics over and over again. I heard God say, “This song belonged to me and you first. I loved you before your husband ever loved you.”
Something began to break in the atmosphere; I felt so free and at peace.
If you have ever heard my wedding song, “The Eyes of Redemption,” it starts out with these lyrics: “I’m falling in love with you all over again, there is no one who redeems like you….I’m falling in love with you all over again, you’re the shepherd who will see me through. You see my pain through the eyes of redemption. And the sorrow that was mine you took away. ”
God was definitely making a point by redeeming a song about redemption. The Enemy had taken that song and tried to corrupt its meaning in my heart. That’s what the Enemy does, he tries to turn God’s redemption into pain.
I believe that God wants to redeem the wedding song in your heart. He wants to give you HIS love in exchange for the disappointment, the pain, and the brokenness of your marriage. If you think you have nothing left in your heart…let me tell you this, God loved you first before anyone else ever loved you.
So, fall in love again. It’s worth it.